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How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

Last Updated: 17.06.2025 00:46

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.

Do you have any attributes quirks sensitivities abilities etc that you've come to learn most people don't experience? E.g. dream with subtext or experience de ja vu regularly or know you experience life very differently from those around you etc?

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”

By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

My boyfriend always verbally abuse me and makes me cry. If I try to tell him how hurt I was, he says to me he loves me and can't hurt me but always abuse me. Why?

By taking turns talking.

By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.